All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
