lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
