your thong is hanging out like whoa
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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