i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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