The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
