I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize