The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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