dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just found puke in my bra..
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
