Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
