my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
