Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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