Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
