Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
