porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
