that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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