My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
