I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
