My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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