Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
