Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
