NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
