is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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