is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
