white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
operation have a gay friend backfired
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My vagina just recognized that song.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
