my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
