i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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