I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
