I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
