Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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