Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
