Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
