I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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