brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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