Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
