i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
