Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
