she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize