My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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