so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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