I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize