Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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