I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
