She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
worst night to have a conscience
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
