May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
