nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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