Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
