He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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