Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
