so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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