I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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