we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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