So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I need moral support for this bender
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
