she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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