I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
