You smell like stripper and shame
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Randomize