plz talk dirty to me
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
