well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
