Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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