i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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