I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
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Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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