Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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