thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
