At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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