You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
someone owes me an orgasm
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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