That's intense
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
