We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
