But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize