he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries