my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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