Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.

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(210): i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home. http://tfl.nu/eggw

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(407): View more from Florida

I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"

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(407): I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt" http://tfl.nu/48bw

Replies (14) Good night (3238) Bad night (897)
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(303): View more from Colorado

maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."

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(303): maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..." http://tfl.nu/5h2o

Replies (81) Good night (921) Bad night (6527)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"

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(608): imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord" http://tfl.nu/17lg

Replies (61) Good night (6301) Bad night (973)
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(317): View more from Indiana

One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom

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(317): One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom http://tfl.nu/vjva

Replies (14) Good night (1497) Bad night (3573)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF

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(203): THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF http://tfl.nu/hsyz

Replies (20) Good night (3815) Bad night (1119)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.

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(732): i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you. http://tfl.nu/3kwo

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(516): View more from New York

he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.

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(516): he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time. http://tfl.nu/8o43

Replies (22) Good night (5321) Bad night (1093)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.

(904): View more from Florida

FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift

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(614): Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing. (904): FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift http://tfl.nu/ws8p

Replies (18) Good night (7654) Bad night (1118)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up

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(920): he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up http://tfl.nu/v5zl

Replies (23) Good night (7998) Bad night (1093)
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(281): View more from Texas

She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out

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(281): She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out http://tfl.nu/guh4

Replies (33) Good night (11210) Bad night (1178)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.

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(610): You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not. http://tfl.nu/e39j

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(904): View more from Florida

That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.

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(904): That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring. http://tfl.nu/5dnd

Replies (1) Good night (552) Bad night (232)
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(419): View more from Ohio

So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?

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(419): So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk? http://tfl.nu/8zbp

Replies (8) Good night (547) Bad night (1011)
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(214): View more from Texas

This is my gift to your gina

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(214): This is my gift to your gina http://tfl.nu/cr2i

Replies (8) Good night (451) Bad night (271)

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