Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us

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  (414): We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us http://tfl.nu/5d2p
  Replies (0) Good night (973) Bad night (1296)
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  (510): View more from California

  come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.

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  (510): come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy. http://tfl.nu/dyh1
  Replies (18) Good night (5940) Bad night (1018)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.

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  (601): I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk. http://tfl.nu/k978
  Replies (13) Good night (3806) Bad night (1259)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.

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  (215): We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug. http://tfl.nu/3xa9
  Replies (9) Good night (2308) Bad night (1285)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere

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  (989): there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere http://tfl.nu/hg2l
  Replies (12) Good night (1278) Bad night (2963)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses

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  (203): Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses http://tfl.nu/2wtf
  Replies (6) Good night (2494) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.

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  (423): take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/qdcc
  Replies (20) Good night (2365) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.

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  (478): Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy. http://tfl.nu/ujmz
  Replies (15) Good night (3572) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.

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  (706): six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot. http://tfl.nu/rrmy
  Replies (6) Good night (1568) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.

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  (817): Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/5d6q
  Replies (2) Good night (1360) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book

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  (774): She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book http://tfl.nu/9ezm
  Replies (4) Good night (1094) Bad night (642)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.

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  (203): At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it. http://tfl.nu/8csz
  Replies (4) Good night (703) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.

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  (212): He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway. http://tfl.nu/5gaf
  Replies (2) Good night (760) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.

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  (630): If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you. http://tfl.nu/6kg1
  Replies (0) Good night (242) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.

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  (785): There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now. http://tfl.nu/wfia
  Replies (1) Good night (304) Bad night (176)

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