everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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