so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?