Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
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that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
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He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.