I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
