ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize